There is no wrong or right. :) I think you did a great job. I cried reading this...because Derek still doesn't understand language enough to have "the conversation." We use the word autistic and different all the time too--but it's too big a concept for my son to understand. Someday.
I think you did do it right! I think a lot of it has to do with the framework we lay before hand, so that the name for it, Autism, Autistic, disabled...comes in easy. It must be a comfort to her to have a big brother who is like her. That is good stuff. :) Thanks for sharing this!
I think you are right. I think the preparation is as important as the moment. Maybe I doubt myself because I didn't feel ready, not because she wasn't ready?
Like the sex talk, we will never be "ready" for those questions. We just need to have a few answers and remain calm when they do. I hope one day my son has the words and that I have the right reply for him. I think ya done great. :)
Seems like you did it fine. I'm not planning to hide it from my kids when I have them. (Yeah, I know, I'm assuming they'll be autistic... but given my family, I'd say it's safe to assume at least one will be.)
Good Job on not making a big deal about it but I too wonder why you have a disabled parking tag. It seems unjustified for autism and it seems like it would be better to save those spots for people who really need them.
I know for our family, battling a busy parking lot with moving cars is like playing Frogger. It can be quite tricky to keep a hand on a cart or groceries, as well as a tight grip on a hand(sometimes more), especially the hand of a child that may pull away hard and run on the drop of a dime. The shorter the distance to go with them makes life so much easier and safer in a way.
Well, I guess it depends on what your definition of "really needs one" is. Plenty of people need a disability parking permit for the reason of lack of mobility, but other disabilities may require a parking place close to the shop exit for reasons of safety. One of my sons is also Autistic, but not quite as severely affected as my daughter, and we haven't applied for a permit for him, because he doesn't need one. My daughter definitely does need one. If you read more on my blog it won't take you long to find a reference to the fact that she runs away when stressed or experiencing sensory overload. She also experiences times of sensory overload that can trigger a meltdown- which to the untrained eye may look like a tantrum, but is actually a neurological reaction to sensory stimulus during which she is not able to control her behaviour or reactions to things. This can cause quite a problem if trying to navigate a busy car park. Typically shopping centres are very overwhelming places for people with sensory processing issue (which includes most Autistic people..... ) so meltdowns and overloads and running away have been common occurrences for us while shopping. As she gets older and more able to regulate her own sensory needs we find we do not always use the permit. Sometimes there is an empty spot close enough to the shop doors for us to get safely in and out, but if there isn't and a disability parking space is free, we will use it. I have been very grateful for it over the year or so we have had it, and know that it makes trips out much safer for our daughter.
We have one for the exact same reasons as Michelle & Manda. It's in the name of my son who has autism, so we only use it when he's in the car (as it should be). He's a runner and not at all car smart.
I don't think there are many right or wrong ways to do things with this parenting lark - it's all trial and error, and who knows best??! Seems like she has taken it on fine for now, what she needs to, and personally I feel you're right not to hide it from her. We haven't had that chat with our 5 year old ASD girl yet, but only because she is unlikely to understand it. Her older sister knows all about it, and I guess before too long we may have to explain to our younger girl why she is different, and I'm not sure I will do that 'right' either. But we all do the best we can :)
There is no wrong or right. :) I think you did a great job. I cried reading this...because Derek still doesn't understand language enough to have "the conversation." We use the word autistic and different all the time too--but it's too big a concept for my son to understand. Someday.
ReplyDeleteyes. someday. xx
DeleteI think you did do it right! I think a lot of it has to do with the framework we lay before hand, so that the name for it, Autism, Autistic, disabled...comes in easy. It must be a comfort to her to have a big brother who is like her. That is good stuff. :) Thanks for sharing this!
ReplyDeleteI think you are right. I think the preparation is as important as the moment. Maybe I doubt myself because I didn't feel ready, not because she wasn't ready?
DeleteLike the sex talk, we will never be "ready" for those questions. We just need to have a few answers and remain calm when they do. I hope one day my son has the words and that I have the right reply for him. I think ya done great. :)
DeleteSeems like you did it fine. I'm not planning to hide it from my kids when I have them. (Yeah, I know, I'm assuming they'll be autistic... but given my family, I'd say it's safe to assume at least one will be.)
ReplyDelete:-D
DeleteGood Job on not making a big deal about it but I too wonder why you have a disabled parking tag. It seems unjustified for autism and it seems like it would be better to save those spots for people who really need them.
ReplyDeleteI know for our family, battling a busy parking lot with moving cars is like playing Frogger. It can be quite tricky to keep a hand on a cart or groceries, as well as a tight grip on a hand(sometimes more), especially the hand of a child that may pull away hard and run on the drop of a dime. The shorter the distance to go with them makes life so much easier and safer in a way.
DeleteWell, I guess it depends on what your definition of "really needs one" is. Plenty of people need a disability parking permit for the reason of lack of mobility, but other disabilities may require a parking place close to the shop exit for reasons of safety. One of my sons is also Autistic, but not quite as severely affected as my daughter, and we haven't applied for a permit for him, because he doesn't need one. My daughter definitely does need one. If you read more on my blog it won't take you long to find a reference to the fact that she runs away when stressed or experiencing sensory overload. She also experiences times of sensory overload that can trigger a meltdown- which to the untrained eye may look like a tantrum, but is actually a neurological reaction to sensory stimulus during which she is not able to control her behaviour or reactions to things. This can cause quite a problem if trying to navigate a busy car park. Typically shopping centres are very overwhelming places for people with sensory processing issue (which includes most Autistic people..... ) so meltdowns and overloads and running away have been common occurrences for us while shopping. As she gets older and more able to regulate her own sensory needs we find we do not always use the permit. Sometimes there is an empty spot close enough to the shop doors for us to get safely in and out, but if there isn't and a disability parking space is free, we will use it. I have been very grateful for it over the year or so we have had it, and know that it makes trips out much safer for our daughter.
DeleteWe have one for the exact same reasons as Michelle & Manda. It's in the name of my son who has autism, so we only use it when he's in the car (as it should be). He's a runner and not at all car smart.
Deletei think you did a great job! <3
ReplyDeleteThank you! :-D
DeleteI love your honesty and vulnerability. You are educating, spreading awareness and advocating for your kids one word at a time. xx
ReplyDeleteI don't think there are many right or wrong ways to do things with this parenting lark - it's all trial and error, and who knows best??! Seems like she has taken it on fine for now, what she needs to, and personally I feel you're right not to hide it from her. We haven't had that chat with our 5 year old ASD girl yet, but only because she is unlikely to understand it. Her older sister knows all about it, and I guess before too long we may have to explain to our younger girl why she is different, and I'm not sure I will do that 'right' either. But we all do the best we can :)
ReplyDeleteAdorable! "I am autistic ... I am autistic ... I am autistic" I love it. So sweet!
ReplyDelete