Autistic Kids back to school checklist

The first day of school is so nerve wracking for all kids. There are lots of things we can do to help ease the nerves, though. Here are the things we do to help my kids prepare:
My Autism specific back to school checklist. 

*Note: Two lists follow. One is for younger kids and one is for older kids. There is some repetition in them, as some of the things are the same for all kids. However there are differences too, so even though the lists look similar it is worth reading both if you have kids in both age groups.

                        

For younger children

Make sure their clothes and shoes are comfortable

If your child can wear clothing and shoes of their own choice to school this is easier.  

My children need to wear a school uniform. Fortunately both the schools my kids attend are reasonably flexible with the choice of pants and shoes, requiring a certain colour, but not a set style or fabric, so we can choose the pants and shoes the kids are comfortable in from a selection at our local stores. 

Their shirts, however, are set and sourced by the school and have thick seams, logos embroidered in the chest area and are a thick textured fabric. Most kids just see the shirts as a polo shirt and don't have any trouble wearing it, but my kids find them really scratchy, the seams uncomfortable and the back of the logo against their skin downright irritating! 

We have solved this problem by having singlets and undershirts they have chosen for comfort to wear under the uniform shirt. It is important to resist the temptation to just buy whatever other kids think is cool or trendy. My kids are much more concerned with comfort than what is cool, and there is nothing wrong with that!

Let them help choose their own bag and equipment

When it is time to choose a new school bag, pencil case, lunch box and stationery supplies I involve my kids in all the decision making. 

It is important that kids know they are comfortable using the items like bag and lunch box because fine motor co-ordination can be tricky and if we can eliminate trouble opening and closing things and discomfort wearing bags, that means less sensory irritation and frustration in what is already a full on job of coping at school every day. 

My daughter really likes everything to be her favourite colour. It is important to her because she likes it that way, and because she can then easily identify which things are hers. 

Make sure you have food to give for morning tea and lunch that they will be happy to eat

It might sound obvious, but it is so important that we include familiar and favourite items in our kids lunch boxes. 

There is nothing wrong with packing the same lunch every day if you know your child will eat it. 

Do not expect your child to try something new in their lunch box. There is enough to cope with in a day at school without challenging their taste buds too. 

For the first term of last year my daughters lunch consisted of the same things every single day. By term two she had noticed some things others were eating that she wanted to try, but we made sure to try them at home first. 

My daughter also finds it easier to cope in the day if she has a lot of crunchy food to eat- crunching acts as a stress release for her so things like rice crackers, apples and carrot sticks are a staple. 

Prepare Safe Hiding Space tokens and make sure your child knows how to use them

You can read about the Safe Hiding Space and tokens here.  In summary, the Safe Hiding Space is a predetermined place the child goes to calm down when they are feeling stressed or overwhelmed. The tokens are used as a way to gain permission to go, and to alert the teacher the child is stressed, that does not require the child to speak or explain what they need. 

Ring the school the day before - ask to know who the teacher will be on the first day - ask to speak to that teacher. 

For my daughter it is super important that she knows what to expect before she gets to school, and who to expect to be there. 

I ring the school on the day before she goes while the teachers are there preparing and ask to speak to whoever will be with her on the first day. 

In our school the class allocations are unfortunately unable to be finalised until a couple of weeks into term as the teacher assignments aren't finalised until a student number census is taken. This means we have to prepare our daughter for the chance her teacher will change, but knowing who she will have on the first day does a lot to help ease her anxiety. 

I also ask to speak to the teacher and tell them about how my daughter is likely to react hen stressed, some key phrases the teacher can use to make sure she is understood by my daughter and I tell them about the Safe Hiding Space.

Plan to be at school early - bring your child to see the classroom and meet the teacher while the room is still empty and to set up a Safe Hiding Space 

Arriving early allows your child to look around the room and meet the teacher before there are lots of other people present making noise, moving around and generally providing sensory challenges. It also means your child can find their desk if the teacher has already allocated them, and check where to put their bag and other things. 

Give your child the words and strategies they will need when they feel overwhelmed

Classrooms and playgrounds (especially playgrounds!) can be tricky to navigate. Things can go wrong very quickly if you have trouble reading social cues and understanding communication. For many Autistic people words become increasingly difficult when things are going wrong. It is important that your childs teacher knows this and is prepared to be patient and allow your child time to process when necessary. Other children, however, may not be able to do this so easily. One way you can help your child is to help them learn key phrases to use when they are struggling to express themselves.  

My daughter has learned to say "stop it- I don't like it" , "I will tell the teacher" and "I need help". Choose phrases your child understands, make them simple and practice them a lot. Let your childs teacher know what the phrases are so they will be able to recognise when your child is using them they are likely stressed or anxious. 

As the year goes on your childs teacher will learn your childs "tells" and communication style, and they will develop between them systems that work well in the school setting, but for the first few days or weeks things like this will help both of them as they get to know each other. 

                               

For older children

Make sure their clothes and shoes are comfortable

If your child can wear clothing and shoes of their own choice to school this is easier.  

My children need to wear a school uniform. Fortunately both the schools my kids attend are reasonable flexible with the choice of pants and shoes, requiring a certain colour, but not a set style or fabric, so we can choose the pants and shoes the kids are comfortable in from a selection at our local stores. 

Their shirts however are set and sourced by the school and have thick seams, logos embroidered in the chest area and are a thick textured fabric. Most kids just see the shirts as a polo shirt and don't have any trouble wearing it, but my kids find them really scratchy, the seams uncomfortable and the back of the logo downright irritating! 

We have solved this problem by having singlets and undershirts they have chosen for comfort to wear under the uniform shirt. It is important to resist the temptation to just buy whatever other kids think is cool or trendy. My kids are much more concerned with comfort than what is cool, and there is nothing wrong with that!

Let them help choose their own bag and equipment

When it is time to choose a new school bag, pencil case, lunch box and stationery supplies I involve my kids in all the decision making. 

Sometimes my son says, "you just choose Mum" which is fine, but on some things he wants very specific items, so we buy those. 

It is important that he knows he is comfortable using the items like bag and lunch box because fine motor co-ordination can be tricky and if we can eliminate trouble opening and closing things and discomfort wearing his bag that means less sensory irritation and frustration for him in what is already a full on day of coping at school every day. 

Make sure you have food to give for morning tea and lunch that they will be happy to eat 

My son packs his own lunch these days, but I make sure to ask before I do the shopping what foods he would like and make sure they are available in the cupboard for him to choose from. 

He eats very little while at school, which used to worry me, but now I realise he is not relaxed enough at school to be able to eat much. It would stress him more if I started insisting he eat a certain amount at school, so I just provide a choice of healthy options that I know he likes for him to take. 

He eats an enormous afternoon tea when he gets home which is part of his afternoon routine and helps him de-stress once he is home, then is ready for dinner soon after. He also eats quite a large breakfast. 

Ring the school the day before and ask to know who their year advisor will be - ask to speak to that teacher

At my sons High School they have a system where each grade had their own year advisor who is a point of contact for the kids to go to if anything is wrong. The year advisor keeps an eye on things, gets to know the kids and acts as a support for them in many ways. 

At my sons school the year advisor is allocated in year 7 and stays with the kids all the way through high school, to the end of Year 12. So, unless she leaves the school, he will have the same person to go to right the way through high school. This is great for him and for me because it means she has come to know him very well and he is comfortable to go to her if he needs help. She and I have developed a positive relationship and I can ring her to chat through things and know that she will raise concerns I have with the relevant staff members and will check on him more frequently if I alert her that he is having a problem with anything. This relationship has been especially valuable since the NSW government removed my sons individual support funding under the ironically named "Every Student Every School" policy. 

If your school has something similar in place it is a good idea to touch base with your childs year advisor at the beginning of the year for a chat about things such as elective subject selection and allocation, timetabling questions, sport selection (the schools process for this is very difficult for my son to manage), and any friendship issues you are aware of.  Don't be hesitant to use the year advisor as a first port of call for all these sort of things- it is their job!

If your school does not have something like this, they may have a roll class teacher, Welfare Officer, or an Assistant Principal who can fill this role. 


Prepare a one page summary of your childs needs and strengths for their year advisor to distribute to all your childs subject teachers

Each year I send a one page summary of my sons needs and strengths to the year advisor and she distributes them to my sons subject teachers. I include information like what he might do if he is experiencing sensory overload and explain things like the fact he often won't look teachers in the eye/face but this doesn't mean he is being disrespectful. An example of a letter I sent a few years ago can be found in an old blog post here.

Make sure your child is familiar with the route they will travel to school and is confident to use whatever transport methods necessary

My son catches the bus to school. We are lucky to live right next door to the bus stop and that the bus drops him off outside the school without him needing to change busses along the way. Getting to school is not too tricky. 

My son relies heavily on routine though, so if the bus to come home is running late or the busses at the school arrive out of their usual order this can cause a problem. There have been a couple of times when my son has boarded the wrong bus and not realised until a certain amount of time has passed and he realises he is not in the right place. This is aggravated but he fact that they way he copes with the noise on the bus is to sit with earphones in and to play games on his phone, so he is not really paying attention to his surroundings. 

We are teaching him he must look up at the bus and check its number before boarding, even if he thinks it is the right bus because it arrived at the right time. We are teaching him he must look out the window periodically and actively check for familiar landmarks. We are teaching him to look for familiar people in the bus- kids that catch the same bus as him regularly- so he can check he is in the right bus. 

Fortunately, when he has had trouble there have been kids in the community who have watched out for him and I have found out and been able to find him quickly and pick him up. 

After the first time we began working on this strategy- "If you realise you are in trouble or are where you shouldn't be call mum immediately". 

The second time it happened he did and stayed calm enough to describe where he was so we could find him and have him home within 10 minutes. 

For kids who have longer distances to travel and whose trip requires changes of transport or vehicle I recommend doing practice runs with them as many times as necessary for them to be confident to do it alone. 

Give your child the words and strategies they will need when they feel overwhelmed

The appropriate words and strategies kids need changes as they get older. It sounds silly in a way, but when your child learns their social interactions by rote, you need to be able to anticipate the more grown up words and strategies they'll need in advance and start teaching them.  

In Primary school things like "I'll tell the teacher" are OK, but by High School will likely just cause more of a problem. 

This is where the help of a great psychologist has been invaluable to me! We are currently working on responses to teasing and bullying and strategies for general safety and staying out of trouble. Things like "If my friends are doing something I know is wrong (like going out of bounds) I can choose to walk away to a different part of the playground or go to the Library instead" are fairly obvious and not difficult to learn. Ways to deal with bullies can be less intuitive and harder to understand and master, but we are working on it, and he is more confident all the time.

. . . . . . . . . .

So, those are the thing I can think of that we do with our kids to help them with their back to school stress.  Each year there are unforeseen hiccups, and we just try to roll with it and create new strategies as needed. I hope these lists have been helpful in some way.  As always if any Autistic folks reading this have suggestions of things to add, please let me know! 

Good Luck Everyone! I hope you and your kids have a great year at school!