Parenting tactics

Fixit Hubby is downstairs working on the back door lock on my car. It's been playing up for a while, and he's been thinking about it in the back of his head for as long as it has been playing up. Tonight he's had an idea, so he's trying it out.


I am sitting typing up some thoughts and listening to the little girls playing. Big girl is at a friends and the boys are out at their regular Friday night boys group. Suddenly Hubby appears and says, "I think I've fixed it, but I might need a spoon. And my hands are a bit big so can you come and help me?"

So we grab a spoon and head down to the car. He shows me the thing that he's trying to fit into the other thing, and I have a go, but he's right- a spoon might help, so I grab it and shove the thing a bit with the end of the spoon. Then he tries again, and so do I. We decide we need to take it apart some more. The new tactic doesn't quite do it, so we pull out a couple more screws, remove a panel, spray some silicone and he's done it! Then we have to take something else off to get one of the things back on and we fidget and cajole and wiggle and manipulate and it's all back together and my cars back door lock works perfectly.

Back up stairs I sit down and think to myself- we parent the same way we fix car door locks. One of us will notice something is not quite right, and think about it for a while, have an idea and try it out. We don't always try the things your "average" parent would but experience has taught us that it's worth trying the unconventional. We ask each other for help when we realise that our skills might not be the best suited to the problem. We use the two heads are better than one approach a fair bit because we've learned that we see things differently and that is an asset. We try different tactics and take things apart as much as we need to to get down to the root of the problem, then we slowly reassemble all the parts until things look right again. Sometimes we even manage to get it working better than it was before we noticed it was not quite right. We are a good team, Hubby and I, no doubt about it. My car door lock is proof. The success the kids have had during their first two weeks back at school reminds me of it too. Our kids are resilient because we work hard to give them the skills to be that way. Our kids are resourceful because we teach them how to find different ways of doing things. Our kids are hardworking because we expect them to be and we teach them how to meet our expectations. We are resilient, resourceful and hard working because we want the best for our kids, so we persevere, even when we'd rather give up, because if we give up then that's what they will do.