I'm sitting at my desk this morning, using some time alone in the house to catch up on some paperwork stuff that I'd like to get out of the way. The room behind me looks like a bomb went off in it.... and the bathrooms need my attention..... but I deem this to be the best use of my time right now because I can get it done much faster when I'm uninterrupted. Besides that, I need to be still from all the running around I've been doing with appointments and meetings. So- paperwork it is. And a couple of phone calls, which turned out to be quite disappointing.So I am sitting here beginning to feel cranky about people who say something and don't follow through, and other human flaws.... when I look slightly to my right at the orchid I have sitting next to my desk. It is in flower at the moment. And it is exquisite. I am reminded again of how much beauty surrounds me every day if I just stop to look at it. I feel myself calm down, and I prioritise again what I will spend my time on. It certainly won't be other people letting me down!
Moving on with more positive thoughts I manage to get through the rest of the to do list I had, and now I'm going to hang out with the chickens for a while in the gorgeous sun. Just because I want to, and because it will feed my soul a bit. In all the looking after of others I do, I am finding it more and more important to do this from time to time. Something just for me. This is different from doing something that is for me and someone else- like when I spend time researching, or writing letters as an advocate, or doing the washing, or even spending time with good friends. Those all involve giving to some extent. I think there is something healthy about a certain amount of selfishness in a parent. Doing something just for me, that does not involve me giving to anyone else at the same time, provides a different kind of recharge.... maybe a more intense recharge.... that is so beneficial. It allows me to feed my soul and my energy stores without depleting them at all at the same time. That is worthwhile to me, as it means I have greater energy reserves for when they are needed by other people. And I just plain feel better.
