Transition to "big school"

It's that time of year in Australia when parents who have kids starting school next year are really feeling nervous. Most schools have run a transition program of some sort. A lot of parents are buying uniforms, have been given the date for their childs Best Start assessment (in NSW), and are counting down until the end of preschool for the year. If you have an Autistic child, this can be a very nervous time. It was for me a year ago. We had MissG enrolled in a school I knew was fantastic, but I was still nervous. How would she cope with the noise? The teacher? Making new friends? Having to move around school in a large group? Having to be in a classroom with a large group? Would she remember to go to the bathroom? Would she eat? What would happen if she had a sensory overload? 

We started preparing very early in the year, and I am happy to now be able to say that all our planning paid off. MissG has had a good year. Not without its hiccups, but a good year! 

I thought I would share the links to the posts I wrote last year as we went through the process of getting ready. Here they are, all in one place for you to find easily and have a read through. Of course, not all kids are the same, what worked for us may not be right for you, but hopefully reading our experience will be helpful, even if it only triggers an idea for you that will work for your chid.

Part One- The Overview

Part Two- The Funding Application

Part Three- Kindergarten Orientation

Part Four- The Safe Hiding Space

Off she goes... To School

This is Autism Acceptance
This last link is to a post I wrote after MissG had been at school a few months. I'm including it because I think it is important to share what it looks like when the staff of a school truly accept our kids just as they are, and to encourage all of you to look for a school that will do this for your child. They are out there. 

So there you are, our journey to "big school".

And as I publish this post I send out my best wishes to all of you who are making this transition over the new year. If you have questions or worries and would like someone to talk to, please do send me a message either by commenting her or by using the message box on the Facebook page.

This is Autism Acceptance

You might not have realised it if I hadn't pointed it out, but these photos are of Autism Acceptance.

Acceptance- the process or fact of being received as adequate, valid, or suitable

My MissG started Kindergarten this year. We did a lot of preparation for this, because MissG is Autistic and has Sensory Processing Disorder. We worked with the school to help MissG get used to the routines of the school, gave her practice being in the classroom, and moving around the school in a group, playing in the playground with lots of other kids darting around..... things like that. We focussed on her own safety by teaching her a procedure she could use when she is feeling stressed or experiencing sensory overload so she could go to a "hiding place" where she felt safe and could wind down a bit. We made sure she knew the ladies who work in the office because they are the ones who look after kids who need first aid. We made sure she was totally comfortable with The Principal because he would be the person who would intervene in an emergency. We made sure she knew who her classroom teacher would be and got to know her, so there would be no anxiety about who she would be with. [search "transition to school" using the search function at the top right of the blog if you want to read about the preparation we did]

We did all this with the willing help of the school, who showed us by their actions that they accepted MissG just as she is and are happy to welcome her into their school and do whatever she needs them to do to make school work for her.

And the school has continued to show that they accept MissG and do not expect her to change to suit them. I know this because of the conversations I have with her Lovely Teacher when we check in with each other to make sure everything is going well. I know that when MissG is struggling her Lovely Teacher makes sure she has extra time to process things, and that she is teaching the other kids in the class to do the same. I know that MissG's Lovely Teacher makes an effort to give MissG plenty of warning for transitions and when the usual routine has to be changed. MissG has her own special drawer in the classroom where she keeps some fidget toys and comfort items she can go to if she needs to do something to calm herself.

MissG's Lovely Teacher, The Principal, the Office Ladies and all the other staff in the school value my daughters uniqueness. They let her be who she is. They encourage her. They are proud of her achievements. The see her as adequate. They *accept* her.

I know this because of what happened at the Easter Parade. I posted the above photos so you can see it too.

That is MissG. Dancing. With a partner. In the middle of a group of about 80 children. To loud music. Without her ear defenders on. With a huge smile on her face.

See her? My Autistic daughter? Dancing! With a partner! In the middle of a group of about 80 children! To loud music! Without her ear defenders on! With a huge smile on her face!!

The same girl who 12 months ago could not go shopping with me without having to run away and hide to get away from the overwhelming sensory input. I stood and watched her in that huge group of kids, enjoying herself. Feeling safe. Being confident. And I cried. Happy tears.

I know that the school staff accept my MissG just the way she is because I stood next to one of the Office Ladies during the parade and she said she had been looking for MissG and was so happy to see her enjoying herself even in the middle of the bustle and the noise. I know that her Lovely Teacher values MissG just how she is because she was almost as teary as I was about how well MissG did during the parade. I know that the community we live in accepts my MissG just the way she is because a few people saw me with tears in my eyes and when I told them what they were for they cried happy tears too. They put their arms around this Autism mum and they shared my joy.

My daughter has found a place where she feels safe enough to just be herself and dance.

This is Autism Acceptance.  

Off she goes...... to school

Today was the day! MissG started at school. She was excited and nervous. I was nervous but sure we'd done everything to get ready.

We had a quick visit to the classroom yesterday to drop off her Safe Hiding Place Tokens and a box of "fidget toys" (some of her favourite things to hold and de-stress with- a plastic toy snake, a wooden toy dinosaur, a soft toy kangaroo, a juggling ball, a slinky...).

We had chatted about using the toilet, needing to eat some of the food in her lunch box for morning tea and saving some for lunch time. What to do if she needed help with anything. We talked about the fun things she would do. We talked about who she would know in her class . We went over the Safe Hiding procedure so many times......

We were ready.

Most of the new Kindy kids went straight to the classroom but MissG and a friend of hers who also has older siblings at the school knew that the "right" way to start the day is to go to morning assembly, so we asked the Teacher if they could do that.  They lined up with the other kids in their composite Kindergarten/Year 1 class, listened to the morning assembly then cheerfully walked off to class with the rest of the kids. Hubby and I wandered off to find something to do for 6 hours!

We did some dishes, some cleaning, a bit of grocery shopping, planned the budget for the fortnight, had lunch....  went for a drive to get us out of the house....  waited....

And when it was time to go and pick the kids up, we were told by MissG that she had a "great" first day! Yay!!

There were of course a few hiccups reported by her Teacher. She used her Safe Hiding Space once when she was a bit overwhelmed (which is not a hiccup at all- it is good!!), but a few tears and a moment of frustration over the way a rotating group activity was working.

Overall, though, MissG's report about her day was positive, and that is what we hoped for. If she feels she had a great day, I call that a big success!!

The transition to school plan- part 4- The safe hiding space

If you have been following this blog for a while you will know that my 5 year old Autistic daughter, "MissG", is off to school in a few weeks to attend Kindergarten in a mainstream class setting. We have been doing lots of preparation over the past 6 months (you can find posts on this topic by searching "transition to school" using the search function at the top right of the blog).

You will also be aware that due to the NSW Governments cuts to disability support funding, and despite extensive efforts on my part and the part of The School Principal, she will not be entitled to any individual support funding. This is disappointing to me, as it was individual funding that made such a difference to my older sons success in Primary School, and because in MissG's case there is danger of her running away and hiding when she is experiencing stress or Sensory Overload. When I say "danger of", I mean she WILL run away and hide when she is experiencing stress or Sensory Overload ( for a bit more on Sensory Overload click here). Even after being made aware of this, the Department of Education still does not feel she has "high enough support needs" to warrant an allocation of individual funding.

So it is left to the school and I to manage with no help. The School Principal, being the wonderful and supportive man he is, has assured me he will find money from his general budget to ensure MissG gets the support he needs. He is considering MissG's teacher allocation very carefully, as well as what classmates she will be best placed with. I cannot tell you what a relief it is to have such a professional, dedicated and compassionate man leading the team at my kids school! Were it not for people like him and his staff, mainstream schooling would not be an option for my girl, especially when the funding providers and policy makers at government level has such a disregard for kids with extra support needs.

MissG's Psychologist and I have been working for some months now on helping MissG develop the skills she will need next year, both social skills and general coping strategies. Autism itself is tricky enough to manage in a mainstream classroom, but with the additional diagnosis of Sensory Processing Disorder in the mix, there are some extra challenges to prepare her for.

As I mentioned, MissG will run and hide if she is stressed or experiencing Sensory Overload. The main strategy we have been working on is to help MissG learn to manage her need for sensory deprivation, or time out, in a safe way. Specifically, teaching her that it is OK to go and hide if she needs to, but she must hide in a designated "Safe Hiding Space" and only after informing a trusted adult that she intends to do so. This is not as easy as saying it once and her being able to do it from then on, unfortunately. Due to the nature of Sensory Overload, she will not always remember to communicate her intentions when she is in the moment of desperately needing some quiet to be able to re-establish her equilibrium.

 So- this is what we are doing.

These are MissG's "Hiding Tokens". She likes dogs very much, and at her preschool there was a Golden Retriever who was a regular visitor that MissG had a special bond with. She finds the thought of this dog very calming. So we have used Golden Retrievers as the Image associated with her "Safe Hiding Space". MissG will wear a token on her clothes, clipped on with a clip she can easily manage to open and close herself. When she needs to get away and hide she is to unclip the token from her clothes and give it to a trusted adult (at home this is her Dad or I, at school it will be the nearest teacher). Once the adult acknowledge the receipt of the token, she is free to go to the designated "Safe Hiding Space". If it is not appropriate for her to do this at the time, the adult will need to have an alternative for her to use that is manageable- a distraction of some sort (lets go together and get a drink to help you feel better then you can tell me what is wrong), but it must keep in mind that she will be unlikely to be able to express what is wrong until she has had a few minutes (at least) to calm down.





The designated "Safe Hiding Space" will display the same dog picture that is on the tokens. Here you can see the one we have set up at home on her bed.








Also in the "Safe Hiding Space" is a toy dog that was bought for MissG by her preschool teacher. It is the same as her favourite toy dog at preschool, and is very special to MissG (I am planing to buy a few more of these next time I am at Ikea!!). You can see here the toy dog sitting on her bed, where it lives and waits to keep MissG company when she needs it.










This picture shows what the "Safe Hiding Space" at home looks like when MissG is using it. It is just a curtain hung from the rail of the top bunk that when she wants to hide MissG can easily pull across to create a hiding space that she can sit in without anyone seeing her. When she has the curtain pulled across we all know she doesn't want to be disturbed or to have to speak. When she feels better she can come out, push the curtain back and come back to the adult she left the token with to get it back. This gives the adult an opportunity to ask her if she needs help with anything.

The school will need to find an appropriate place to use as a "Safe Hiding Place" that works for both them and MissG, and they have already expressed their willingness to do so. So we will practice this at home over the next few weeks, and the school will use the same method (have I mentioned how great the staff at our school are?!)

Now, I need to point out that this is not a strategy that MissG needs to use every day. In fact, at the moment, she doesn't even need it every week. However, as hiding is a behaviour we have seen many times in the past, particularly during times of high stress, it would be foolish of us not to plan for it when we know she will be entering a period of high stress when she goes to school for the first time, probably in the same week as she is going to become a big sister for the first time! If we can help MissG learn to use this strategy well, it could very easily avoid an incident of the school staff "losing" her from the classroom or playground. It also helps MissG to learn about the importance of communicating her needs and about ways to keep herself safe.

I still feel nervous about the run and hide issue, but we are doing all we can to help MissG with it. The school is aware and strategies are in place. Now we just have to hope for the best.

The transition to school plan- part 3- Kindergarten Orientation

Time to update you all on MissG's progress getting ready for "Big School". As the end of the year draws closer, and I realise there are only 4 more weeks of her attending Pre-school, I am a bit surprised to find that I am not really nervous about this transition anymore. That makes me happy!

We have done pretty much everything we can to prepare her, and the school, for her starting there next year. We have a few appointment left to go with our fantastic psychologist, who is helping us with developing social stories and working on some social skills prompts. Apart from that there is very little left to do.

So, let me tell you about the Kindergarten Orientation program that we have just been involved in.

First, I'm going to quickly say how much I LOVE my kids Primary School. It is "just" our local public school, and it has historically had a "bad reputation" due to being in a "rough neighbourhood". All the local talk about it is highly exaggerated, and mostly untrue. The school has the most dedicated and talented staff I have ever come across, and we feel so lucky to be able to send our kids there. It is a small school, and the effort they put into all areas of the children's development and welfare is exceptional. The care and commitment The Principal and other Staff have shown to supporting MissG in her transition has made things so much easier for her and for me, and I honestly would not send her anywhere else next year.

The Kindergarten Transition Program the school ran this year was 7 weeks long, and ran on Wednesday mornings for 2 hrs. Some mornings MissG didn't want to go- but that wasn't for any other reason than that Wednesday is a Preschool day and turning up 2 hours "late" was a break from routine that she found a bit of a challenge. Each week we met at the schools Community Room, where many of the kids were used to going for playgroup, and the kids played while parents chatted and got to know each other for half an hour. After that the teachers took the children off for some activities in various places they need to know- classroom, library, playground, music room....  while the parents went and learned about different school programs, resources and services available. It was fantastic to see the kids gain confidence moving around the school and interacting with the staff and with each other. By the end of the Program, they would go off for their activities with no fuss, perfectly comfortable with the staff. Great to see!

The thing that strikes me most about the success of the Program is that it was beneficial for the "normal" kids and the kids with higher support needs alike. None of the children were singled out but all were catered for in exactly the way they needed. And so were the parents!

For privacy reasons (ours and the schools!) I'm not going to name the school, but let me tell you- they are amazing!

When you go looking for somewhere to place your kids who have special needs you are looking for somewhere like this, that offers Programs that are inclusive of all children, are well thought out, well executed and for staff who are open minded, caring, relaxed and committed. It can, unfortunately, be  hard to find (we tried 4 other schools before we found this one), and with the NSW Governments commitment to cutting funding to our schools I fear will become even harder to find. Harder, but not impossible. So- my thanks go out to our great school. MissG really benefitted from the Kindergarten Transition Program. It has made a big difference to our family.

Separately form the Transition Program, I have been keeping dialogue going with The Principal about things that have been on my mind. A couple of the issues we have discussed recently are helping teachers learn strategies to assist MissG cope with changes in routine and unexpected interruptions, how to support her if she is hurt or if another child does something she finds difficult to cope with (an accidental bump that could induce sensory overload, for example) and some ways the school can help MissG manage playground time. I have been grateful to have the help of the Preschool Director with this task. She was generous enough to sit with hubby and I for an hour last week and work on compiling a list of strategies The Preschool has used successfully that she will compile and present to the school. Support like this is invaluable to me, and speaks again of the exceptional community support we have around us.

If you are reading this and thinking that it's all fine for me, as I obviously have a lot of great help around me, I would like to say that while it is great to have the support, much of what I am talking about can be initiated by parents, or even done by parents if need be. If you need ideas to help you get started or tips on how to approach the schools to encourage them to establish some similar programs, drop me a line and I'd be happy to point you in the direction of some great online resources that can help you get started. One worth mentioning up front is Sue Larkeys website, where you can go to sign up for regular email tis on managing schooling for ASD kids. Sue also has a facebook page.

The next step for me is to get social stories organised with our psychologist, so we can use them over the Christmas break.  I'll let you know how we go with that in the next transition to school update.

The transition to school plan- part 2- The Funding Application

The Principal was surprised to be able to tell me that our application to be considered eligible to apply for individual funding had been approved.

To be honest- I was surprised too. The form we filled in was not really set up to be easy to fill in with Autism in mind. It was much more geared toward physical disability, intellectual impairment or severe behaviour problem. The fact that we had to include the information that MissG is a flight risk when she experiences sensory overload may have helped our cause, I think.

Whatever it was- they ticked the box that said we should go ahead and fill in the full application.

So we did that one morning last week. The Principal, The School Counsellor, Wonderful Hubby and I sat down for almost 2 hours and tried to put into bureaucrat-speak everything important about looking after MissG's sensory, social and safety needs with the view to fitting some learning in there at the same time.

The School Counsellor was a great help as he had completed some testing on MissG the week before and made some great observations about her reaction to stress, tiredness and being confronted with new situations and information (mainly that she tends to shut down and become unco-operative). We copied and pasted, and spat their own technical terms back at them. We were honest about how difficult she can be. That was hard.


Hubby and I were debriefing afterward, and we both felt sad that we had to say such harsh things about our gorgeous girl to get them to pay attention to us. But we had to acknowledge that caring for her and keeping her safe is a tricky job, and to those who are not familiar with her it could be quite overwhelming, especially while she is adjusting to a new school with all it's different routines, structures, people and other variables. So, honest we were, as painful as it felt, because we want the school to be well resourced.

In some ways it was a bit validating to have to explain to someone all the things we know and just automatically do. I know that sounds a bit strange, but in a way it is good to verbalise what our normal is and acknowledge that it is intense and busy and difficult. It is good to be able to realise that all things considered, we are doing an OK job, too!

Anyway, we filled in as much as we could. There were a couple of things I had to give copies of to the school (like MissG's letter of diagnosis from the Paediatrician) so they could keep the box tickers happy. And now we wait again. We wait to see if the powers that be who don't know our child at all want to assign a dollar amount to how difficult she will be to have in school. If they do- how much will it be? It is an uncomfortable wait. But wait we must.

The transition to school plan- part 1- The Overview

Many of you, my faithful blog Readers, will know that my littlest girl "MissG" is 5 now and will be starting school next February. She is Autistic and has a lot of sensory issues, so this impending change has been on my mind for a long time, and we have been planning for it for a couple of years.

MissG is not a suitable candidate for a special Autism class (even if there were places available in one close enough for us to access!) as she is very intelligent and is verbal, so we have enrolled her in the local public school that our other kids have attended. I love this school, and MasterL did very, very well there, thanks to the efforts and support of the superb staff there. It is still a stressful transition, though.

The change from a preschool environment with 20 kids and 4 staff in a relaxed environment where the routine is flexible and can be bent to the needs of the kids, to a classroom with at least 20 kids, one teacher and the need for conformity, will certainly stretch MissG's social and sensory abilities. The stress of the situation has been increased recently by the changes made by our state government to the way they are funding support for children with extra needs in schools (and when I say 'changes in funding', I mean 'decreases in funding and making the lesser amounts available harder to access'). Even though MissG has had full time support at preschool and has progressed well with that support, she is not "disabled enough" to meet the requirements for any individual funding to go towards her support at school. The Principal of the school and I have talked at length about this, and we have filled in the paper work to apply to be considered for funding, but it is not looking hopeful.

Regardless of the funding situation I know the staff at the school and The Principal, and I know they will do their utmost for MissG. In fact they already are!

I thought it would be beneficial for me, and for some of you Readers, to keep a record of the things we have done and are doing to help with the transition to school for MissG. I will make sure to label any posts on this topic "transition to school" so if you want to follow the topic through you can use the search bar at the top right of the home page to find all the entries.

Here is what we have done so far:

1. From the time we knew MissG is Autistic and that she would be attending The School we have made a point of having her at school as much as possible, even when it may have been more convenient to leave her at home.
This has included
- attending playgroup weekly at the Community Hub on the school grounds to help her get to know other kids in the school community
- bringing her into the playground every morning and every afternoon at drop off and pick up times and making a point of talking about the schools expectations of behaviour in the playground as well as the unspoken expectations (like that you have to be careful not to walk through other kids ball games), and encouraging her to talk to various staff members around the school as we wander around
- taking her into the classrooms with me when I go to help with reading groups in K's class so she can get an idea of the way you are expected to behave in the classroom
- taking her with me into the office when I go and talk to the staff there so she knows the ladies who are there and who will be likely to care for her if she is hurt or sick
- going for visits to The Principal's office to help her get to know him and so that his office is not an unknown and scary place
- bringing her to all school events possible like Book Parades and Sports Carnivals so she sees school at it's busiest and noisiest

2. We have had lots of assessments done. MissG has been assessed by a Speech Pathologist and an Occupational Therapist and the results of those assessments have been made available to The Principal. This will help him and The Kindergarten Teacher next year know better what to expect from the point of view of other Professionals, and give them information about some strategies they have used successfully when working with her. MissG also sees a Psychologist who will work closely with the school as MissG begins the year next year, providing them with Professional Support and ideas and tips on how to handle anything "tricky" that may come up. All these assessments and therapy sessions cost money. We are fortunate enough to have access to some assistance from our Federal Government to pay for some of these things, but I'll be honest and say it has still cost us a lot!

3. We have enlisted the help of a Family Support Worker who meets with me regularly to talk through any concern I have and be of support to me and Hubby when we need it. Recently she helped us organise a Case Conference at which we met with everyone who has been involved in MissG's therapies and everyone who will be working with her next year. It was fantastic to have them all in one room to meet each other and share ideas about how the school will best be able to meet her needs. Hubby and I left feeling truly encouraged at the provision of some amazingly dedicated and compassionate people involved in our little girls life. As a group of parents and caregivers we were able to put in place a plan of what needs to happen over the next few months with tasks being offered to be done by various members of the group.

Here is what will be happening over the next few months:

The School runs a transition program for all students entering Kindergarten, and MissG will attend that. She will also be taken for extra transition visits both by myself and by an Itinerant Support Worker who has been working with her at Preschool. During The School's organised transition visits MissG will be expected to participate as part of the larger group. In the visits with the IS Worker and myself she will be in a one on one support setting.

MissG and I will be meeting with The Psychologist regularly over the next few moths for the purpose of working on issues around social situations and to help give MissG at least the theory side of some of the skills she will need during a school day. The Psychologist will be able to use the knowledge she has of MissG and her needs to help The Kindergarten Teacher know how best to support MissG, and she has offered to help set up a calm down space and other appropriate environment modifications. We will also be developing a kit of social stories to use both now and when school starts.

It might be useful for some Readers to know that in some areas you will find programs run by community groups that provide extra transition support for Autistic Children. In our area the program is called "Kids on the move". MissG's IS Worker helped us apply for that program. Unfortunately there were 60 applications from High Needs Autistic Children received, and funds available to accept only 10 of them. MissG was placed at 5th on the waiting list. It makes me sad that there are so many children who would benefit from this little bit of extra help and our Government just doesn't see the importance of providing for that need. Anyway, it is worth asking around at places like Early Intervention Centres or your Community Health Centre to see what they know about this sort of program.

That gets you pretty much up to date on what we are doing for MissG's school transition. I'll let you know when there is more progress to report. I hope some of you find this information helpful in developing your own plans. Please do ask questions if I've left anything unclear.