What Autistic children learn from adult responses

This post has been moved to michellesuttonwrites.com

http://michellesuttonwrites.com/66-2/what-autistic-children-learn-form-adult-responses/

How to support an Autistic child in the classroom

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http://michellesuttonwrites.com/66-2/206-2/

Barriers to learning for Autistic people and how you can help

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on funding and brick walls

News headline in The Australian, 25 March 2015: "Disabled students suffer as funds dry up" (unfortunately the link displayed in my browser when I view the article seems to redirect to a subscriber only page! To read the article it seems to work if you search the title on The Australian home page)

It doesn't give me any pleasure to say that this is not news to me.

The dangers of looking Autistic in front of police

A while back I felt it was time to have a serious discussion with my son.

on stereotypes and perceptions

This article has been moved to respectfullyconnected.com

http://www.respectfullyconnected.com/2015/11/on-stereotypes-perceptions-and-how-easy.html

Autism and inclusion in the classroom

This article has been moved to http://michellesuttonwrites.com/2015/12/17/thoughts-on-inclusion-in-the-classroom/

When school isn't working anymore

Those of you who have been following my parenting journey for a while know that I've spent a lot of time advocating for my kids in their school environments. We've had varying levels of success over the past few years in terms of gaining appropriate supports for the kids within the mainstream schooling environment. 

We've worked with some amazing teachers who have given their all to help the kids. We've also met some teachers who just don't "get it" and don't seem to want to. For the most part though, school was working well enough for the kids. 

Until this year. 

So we made a decision. 

Without going into too much detail, we decided that both MasterL and MissGs social and communication support needs were not being met, and that MasterL in particular was so overwhelmed that his stress was having an affect on his ability to learn in the school environment. MissG was still learning well, and enjoying school, but she was exhausted, and told us she did not want to go to school anymore. 

It's not an easy decision to make, on the one hand, because deciding to homeschool your children requires a substantial commitment of time and resources.... and to be honest, was not what I had anticipated we would be doing right now. But, on the other hand, it was an easy decision because we do not ever want to see our kids so overwhelmed that they cannot cope. I realise some people are not as lucky as us to be in the position to bring the kids home, but for us right now, it works. 

MasterL is enrolled in a Department of Education Distance Education school. MissG is currently away from school on an approved exemption, and is in the process of "unschooling". We will shortly be registering with our state homeschooling authority. 

The changes in both children since leaving the environments that were so stressful for them are easily observed. They are both calmer, happier and more relaxed. Meltdowns, shut downs and periods of overwhelm are occurring significantly less often. They have the opportunity to retreat and self regulate as they need to. They can take time to be creative instead of constantly needing to be on alert. MissG particularly is enjoying setting her own pace and seeking out learning that engages her and is relevant to her interests. 

So over the coming months this blog will undergo another change of focus.... we will be talking about home education and how that works in our family, along with other things that catch my interest or set off my injustice alarm. This parenting gig sure is an interesting journey. 

The letter I wish I had read when my children were diagnosed with Autism

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Lack of services does not cause child abuse

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MichelleSuttonWrites<dot>com

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What if I don't want ABA therapy for my Autistic child?

So, today my dad sent me the link to this gem of media reporting <insert sarcasm font> 

Here is the link if you want to go see it in it's original form....  http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/political-news/scheme-will-cover-cost-of-autism-treatment-20130510-2jd94.html

Below is the full text of the article.

The national disability insurance scheme will cover ''most'' people with autism and could pay the full cost of early intervention programs, Disability Reform Minister Jenny Macklin has declared in the latest clue as to what the $22 billion-a-year scheme will cover.

Autism affects about one in 100 children in Australia. Diagnoses of the condition more than doubled in Australia from 2003 to 2009 - 64,000 Australians have autism, latest figures show.

There were fears that the condition would be excluded from the scheme, or that the support provided by DisabilityCare Australia would be no greater than the current program, which funds only a fraction of the cost of the most effective therapies.

Opposition Leader Tony Abbott has demanded the government clarify whether autism will be included in the scheme, but ministers have only pointed to the legislation passed in March, which set broad parameters.

But in an interview with Fairfax Media, Ms Macklin confirmed the scheme would support ''most'' people with autism but stressed the agency would work with people to identify their individual needs.

''People are very different, they have very different levels of disability, and very different levels of ability, so what they need from DisabilityCare Australia will really vary.''

The government's Helping Children with Autism program provides families of children with autism $6000 a year for two years. About 19,000 children used that funding in the program's first five years. But the annual cost of applied behaviour analysis therapy - the only specific early intervention the federal Families Department rates as effective based on ''established research evidence'' - is $40,000.

That research shows about 50 per cent of children with autism are able to reach a normal educational outcome by age six.

Ms Macklin said that where an early intervention therapy is deemed ''reasonable and necessary'' DisabilityCare would be able to fund its full cost.

Funding applied behaviour analysis therapy could cost the scheme more than $300 million a year once it is fully operational.

Ms Macklin said DisabilityCare would over time replace the autism program, but no family would see their level of support reduced.

''If people are getting an autism support package from the Commonwealth now, that will continue until that child is brought into DisabilityCare Australia and their needs are assessed,'' she said.

Nicole Rogerson, chief executive of Autism Awareness Australia and the mother of a 17-year-old boy with autism, said ''we would be absolutely thrilled if what the minister is saying actually happens''.

''Autism is not a stagnant diagnosis,'' she said.

''If we give children with milder forms of it really intensive, evidence-based intervention, some of those children will go on to come off the diagnostic criteria for autism and will go on to have completely independent lives, and that should be the outcome of the NDIS.''

This is the first time I've commented on this blog about the NDIS. I'm very skeptical of it, and this article highlights most of the reasons why. 

Firstly- learning that "The national disability insurance scheme will cover ''most'' people with autism and could pay the full cost of early intervention programs" (emphasis mine) does nothing to reassure me that the new system will be any better than the old one. In fact it could be worse for many. Come to think of it, I've not seen any information anywhere so far that tells me exactly how anything will be done to make services or funding better, easier to access or more appropriate for anyone with a disability. 

Secondly- who decides what to deem "reasonable and necessary" therapy? What if I don't want my Autistic child to receive the therapy that is covered because it has been deemed "reasonable and necessary"? What if I want to do something that is not deemed "reasonable and necessary"?  

What if I don't want ABA therapy for my Autistic child? 

Autism is not a disease. 

It is not an illness. 

It is not something that you can get rid of. 

It is a neurology. 

It is the way a brain works. 

It is part of a person. 

It is for this reason that I disagree with Nicole Rogerson (" chief executive of Autism Awareness Australia and the mother of a 17-year-old boy with autism") that it should be an outcome of the NDIS that children should "go on to come off the diagnostic criteria for autism". Being not Autistic any more is not a prerequisite to living an independent life! Neither is still being Autistic but hiding it so well that no one can tell. I know plenty of Autistic Adults who live independently... many of them earning more than I do in their jobs. Lots of them raising children, some of them as single parents. 

{And while we are talking about Autisitic Adults, why aren't they getting a mention in this article? Sure it's important to support Autistic children, but what about the adults? They have support needs too. I sincerely doubt that in 6 years time MasterL is suddenly going to stop needing support. And no, before some clever person points out that I am contradicting myself, I don't think that needing support and living independently contradict each other. I live independently, and find the support of my husband family and friends invaluable, as I'm sure most people do- Autistic or not.}

For the same reason I also disagree that ABA is the be all and end all of therapy options. Don't get me wrong- I like science, and scientifically proven therapy is a good thing. ABA does what it says it will do. It helps reduce undesirable behaviours. The thing is I do not want to send my child into 20 hours a week of therapy designed to train them not to engage in behaviours that are only undesirable because society deems them to be for no real reason other than that's how it is. 

I don't want my kids rewarded for not flapping.

I don't want my kids to be forced to look people in the eye. 

I don't want my kids taught unquestioning compliance to social norms and authority figures. 

I don't want my kids to become indistinguishable from their peers. 

And if that's what the NDIS will  be providing to "help" Autistic people, they can count my family out. 

The transition to school plan- part 3- Kindergarten Orientation

Time to update you all on MissG's progress getting ready for "Big School". As the end of the year draws closer, and I realise there are only 4 more weeks of her attending Pre-school, I am a bit surprised to find that I am not really nervous about this transition anymore. That makes me happy!

We have done pretty much everything we can to prepare her, and the school, for her starting there next year. We have a few appointment left to go with our fantastic psychologist, who is helping us with developing social stories and working on some social skills prompts. Apart from that there is very little left to do.

So, let me tell you about the Kindergarten Orientation program that we have just been involved in.

First, I'm going to quickly say how much I LOVE my kids Primary School. It is "just" our local public school, and it has historically had a "bad reputation" due to being in a "rough neighbourhood". All the local talk about it is highly exaggerated, and mostly untrue. The school has the most dedicated and talented staff I have ever come across, and we feel so lucky to be able to send our kids there. It is a small school, and the effort they put into all areas of the children's development and welfare is exceptional. The care and commitment The Principal and other Staff have shown to supporting MissG in her transition has made things so much easier for her and for me, and I honestly would not send her anywhere else next year.

The Kindergarten Transition Program the school ran this year was 7 weeks long, and ran on Wednesday mornings for 2 hrs. Some mornings MissG didn't want to go- but that wasn't for any other reason than that Wednesday is a Preschool day and turning up 2 hours "late" was a break from routine that she found a bit of a challenge. Each week we met at the schools Community Room, where many of the kids were used to going for playgroup, and the kids played while parents chatted and got to know each other for half an hour. After that the teachers took the children off for some activities in various places they need to know- classroom, library, playground, music room....  while the parents went and learned about different school programs, resources and services available. It was fantastic to see the kids gain confidence moving around the school and interacting with the staff and with each other. By the end of the Program, they would go off for their activities with no fuss, perfectly comfortable with the staff. Great to see!

The thing that strikes me most about the success of the Program is that it was beneficial for the "normal" kids and the kids with higher support needs alike. None of the children were singled out but all were catered for in exactly the way they needed. And so were the parents!

For privacy reasons (ours and the schools!) I'm not going to name the school, but let me tell you- they are amazing!

When you go looking for somewhere to place your kids who have special needs you are looking for somewhere like this, that offers Programs that are inclusive of all children, are well thought out, well executed and for staff who are open minded, caring, relaxed and committed. It can, unfortunately, be  hard to find (we tried 4 other schools before we found this one), and with the NSW Governments commitment to cutting funding to our schools I fear will become even harder to find. Harder, but not impossible. So- my thanks go out to our great school. MissG really benefitted from the Kindergarten Transition Program. It has made a big difference to our family.

Separately form the Transition Program, I have been keeping dialogue going with The Principal about things that have been on my mind. A couple of the issues we have discussed recently are helping teachers learn strategies to assist MissG cope with changes in routine and unexpected interruptions, how to support her if she is hurt or if another child does something she finds difficult to cope with (an accidental bump that could induce sensory overload, for example) and some ways the school can help MissG manage playground time. I have been grateful to have the help of the Preschool Director with this task. She was generous enough to sit with hubby and I for an hour last week and work on compiling a list of strategies The Preschool has used successfully that she will compile and present to the school. Support like this is invaluable to me, and speaks again of the exceptional community support we have around us.

If you are reading this and thinking that it's all fine for me, as I obviously have a lot of great help around me, I would like to say that while it is great to have the support, much of what I am talking about can be initiated by parents, or even done by parents if need be. If you need ideas to help you get started or tips on how to approach the schools to encourage them to establish some similar programs, drop me a line and I'd be happy to point you in the direction of some great online resources that can help you get started. One worth mentioning up front is Sue Larkeys website, where you can go to sign up for regular email tis on managing schooling for ASD kids. Sue also has a facebook page.

The next step for me is to get social stories organised with our psychologist, so we can use them over the Christmas break.  I'll let you know how we go with that in the next transition to school update.

Sensory Processing Disorder...

I have mentioned Sensory Processing Disorder a few times in recent posts. Some of you may not be familiar with what this is, so I thought I would write a little bit about it. I will include some links to information, and then give you some insights into what SPD looks like for us.

Let's start with good old Wikipedia's definition (you can find the full Wikipedia article on SPD here)

Sensory processing disorder or SPD is a neurological disorder causing difficulties with taking in, processing, and responding to sensory information about the environment and from within the own body (visual, auditory, tactile, olfaction, gustatory, vestibular, and proprioception).

For those identified as having SPD, sensory information may be sensed and perceived in a way that is different from most other people. Unlike blindness or deafness, sensory information can be received by people with SPD, the difference is that information is often registered, interpreted and processed differently by the brain. The result can be unusual ways of responding or behaving, finding things harder to do. Difficulties may typically present as difficulties planning and organizing, problems with doing the activities of everyday life (self care, work and leisure activities), and for some with extreme sensitivity, sensory input may result in extreme avoidance of activities, agitation, distress, fear or confusion.

SPD Australia says,  

SENSORY PROCESSING DISORDER (SPD) is a complex neurological condition that impairs the functional skills of 1 in 20 children. People with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) misinterpret everyday sensory information, such as touch, sound and movement. They may feel overwhelmed by sensory information, may seek out sensory experiences or may avoid certain experiences.

People with SPD experience their world as either Hypersensitive (over reactive, sensory avoidance) or Hyposensitive (under reactive, sensory seeker). They may also present with motor skill problems. They may react with strong emotional behaviours and experience what may be described as ‘melt downs’.

While it is estimated that 1 in 100 children in Australia is diagnosed with Autism, and we see above that 1 in 20 have SPD, it is interesting to note that the American Psychological Associations proposed diagnostic criteria for Autism Spectrum Disorder (see here) in their soon to be finalised DSM-V will include,

"Hyper-or hypo-reactivity to sensory input or unusual interest in sensory aspects of environment; ......."

which seems to acknowledge that SPD is often something that goes with Autism. Nevertheless, it is obvious that SPD occurs in many more children than Autism does. 

In our household, one of the Autistic kids has SPD (MissG) and the other doesn't (MasterL- he has some sensitivities to sound and touch, but nowhere near the difficulties that G has). Because the SPD diagnosis for MissG goes with an Autism diagnosis, my experience with SPD is intertwined with Autism, as MissG's responses to sensory input and overload are influenced by her Autistic tendencies. I mention this because it serves to remind us that although people share a diagnosis, the symptoms they display and their coping mechanisms can make them look very different from each other in some ways while appearing similar in others. 

So- what does SPD look like for us? (If you want to read over previous posts I have written on or around the topic of SPD you can go here and here.) MissG is mostly Hypersensitive- she over reacts to sensory stimulus and tries to avoid it. The only places on her body that she can be Hyposensitive are her mouth and her feet. This made things interesting when she was younger as everything went in her mouth, and she could be found licking all sorts of things that made me cringe! When she was old enough to be walking on her own in public places (instead of being carried in the back pack or riding in the stroller) the sensory seeking with her feet became problematic as she wanted to step on every single change of pattern, colour or texture she came across.

Hypersensitivity has been a big issue for our family. We have all learned along the way what things might set MissG off, and all to various extents do things to avoid triggering her.

When she was younger, and before we had such an understanding of SPD and what sort of things she struggled with, we went through a period of time when major meltdowns were a normal part of our day. It was common to have MissG experience sensory overload 5 or more times a day. To the "untrained eye" these meltdowns would have looked like tantrums. They could be triggered by things that seemed very small, and so looked liked over-reactions. Each meltdown would last between 5 mins and an hour, and could include crying, screaming, hitting, kicking, thrashing, throwing herself on the ground, throwing objects. Usually she would lose the ability to express herself verbally. If the meltdown was caused by an injury (as small as being bumped or as big as a cut that required medical attention) she would put her hand over the injured area and either huddle herself up silently or scream as if she had a broken bone. No one would be allowed to look at or touch the injury.

These days things are a bit better. Strategies we have used to get to this point are:

*organising a "sensory diet" that provides desirable input, including time for swinging, time for bouncing, plenty of things to touch (soft toys, squishy toys) and things to put hands in (sand, uncooked rice and dried beans), foods to crunch on, things to sip through a straw (including thick things like custard), time for water play (you could use any kind of sensory experience your child likes - some kids like playing in shaving foam or paint or goo.....  MissG loves water play). We also have some more "official" sensory tools recommended by the OT that MissG likes, including a body sock, some yoga/exercise balls, and fidget toys.

*allowing self initiated zone out time- for MissG this is often iPad or tv time, sometimes it is listening to her favourite music, and some times it is time alone in her room when she will choose to sit in the enclosed space of her bottom bunk bed and play quietly with a favourite toy.



*offering the choice to wear her ear defenders as a way of regulating the sensory input she is exposed to


*enforcing some sensory deprivation time- sometimes we insist MissG take some quiet time using her ear defenders, or alone in her room inside her tent or in our room under our doona.

It is a bit of a trial and error thing discovering what works best for each child. What works for MissG may not be what works for your child. Input from a good Occupational Therapist can be invaluable. 

The key thing I wish someone had been able to tell me a couple of years ago when we were in the midst of numerous meltdowns a day is this- it will get better! You need to do some detective work to figure out what things will help support your child's sensory needs, but once you have done that, things will be better!

If any of you reading this think of things I've left out, or have suggestions for others coping with SPD, feel free to leave a comment!

Misunderstandings and misconceptions

I have a google alert set up that forwards me an email each day containing links to news articles related to Autism. Todays email contained 47 articles. 22 of them were about Autistic children being prone to wander off/ run away/ bolt/ whatever you want to call the terrifying experience of having your child vanish.

The first article I read (here from Sky News Australia) said,
"Almost half of US children diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) wander away from safe places, and about half go missing long enough to alarm their parents, a new study has found." (OK- firstly, ANY period of time is long enough to alarm me if my child suddenly vanishes, but we'll let that one go).

It went on to quote
"'Children who were reported as missing were older, more likely to have experienced skill loss and less likely to respond to their name. They were also more likely to have lower intellectual and communication scores than non-missing children,' Law wrote."

I have an issue with this sort of reporting. You might think it is pedantic of me, but I feel that reporting like this just reinforces the stereotype that Autism equals dumb. In so many cases, this is just not true. Being unable to communicate in socially conventional ways does not mean a person has lower intellectual capacity.

It's probably unfair of me to pick on Sky News, but there were too many articles on this to go through them all. I know that in this article the writer is just reporting (loosely) what research found, and I guess the fact is that in the 1200 families surveyed for this study that is what they found. But the problem I have is that reporting like this, where an initial study (in this case they say it is the first study of its kind in the US) finds something, then all the popular media do a quick review of it, the general public base their beliefs on this watered down second hand report. Scientific process dictates that this finding now either supports or refutes a theory and further research should go on to build more theories around the findings, and seek to replicate them or disprove them. Taking the popular media report on an initial research finding causes misinformation and misunderstanding to circulate around the general population, and we end up with an assumption that Autism is something it is not.

My daughter "wanders". Her IQ has been assessed to be in the high range of what is considered normal. Her recent speech pathology report states that her receptive and expressive language are both in the high range of what is considered normal. She is Autistic. She has Sensory Processing Disorder. When she becomes anxious or experiences sensory overload she disappears for a while. If you didn't know her and you found her in her hiding spot she would likely behave in a way that you would find challenging. She probably wouldn't speak to you. She likely wouldn't respond to her name. She may try to hit or kick you. This does not mean she is not as smart as you!

We need to be so careful with our assumptions and with the stereotypes we choose to accept and perpetuate. Realising that the label my children have been given can act to cause misunderstanding in others about who they are makes me more aware of the misconceptions I must hold about others. And that is truly a challenging thought.

A letter to my past self

Dear Me 10 years ago,

I know you think you have this parenting thing sorted out pretty well, but I need to tell you some things, because a lot is about to change for you. You have three great children, and you have found them challenging at times, but you are soon going to experience a different side of parenting that you haven't known about before. It is going to challenge you in ways you can't imagine, and it is going to make you into a different person. You don't know it yet, but you are going to be the parent of children with a disability. Right now those words freak you out. But take a deep breath, and keep reading.

Firstly, listen carefully when I say- everything is going to be OK. You are going to be bewildered, exhausted, at a complete loss for the right way to go, lonely, frustrated and frightened. You will grieve, rage with anger and give up hope. You will meet Autism. You will find your feet again, pick yourself up and you will go on. And you will be OK. So will your children. The ones you know and the ones you are yet to meet. You will all be OK.

You will need to learn to look after yourself. You don't know it yet, but you have a tendency to take on a lot and do so much that you end up not coping with anything. The qualities in you that cause you to do this are in themselves not bad. You don't need to change them. You just need to learn to pace yourself, to say "no" sometimes, and to recognise that your needs are as important as other peoples needs. If you are going to have what you need to be there for your family, you need to look after yourself well too.

You will need to learn not to worry what others think of you. In the past you have gone to great lengths to keep others happy and to do what you think they expect of you. Firstly, you need to realise that you are sometimes wrong in your assumptions about what others expect. Spending a lot of time doing things based on assumptions is counterproductive and ultimately a waste of time! Secondly, it is just not healthy to run your life this way. At some point you will need to shift your focus from trying to keep everyone else happy to looking after your own needs and the needs of those in your household.

You will need to learn to trust your instincts and be prepared to stand up for your kids. As time goes on you are going to find that you will need to be a strong advocate for your children. There will be times when others do not understand what your kids need and you will have to stand up and tell them. Sometimes they will ignore you the first few times you try to tell them, and you will have to step out of your comfort zone and do and say things in ways you hadn't tried before. Sometimes people will think you are pushy, rude and an over-reatcor. As long as you are not disrespectful towards others, this is OK, and you can rest assured they will get over it. Trust your instincts- if your gut tells you your kids need you to stand up for them- do it.

Above all, don't have regrets. You are going to take time figuring all these things out. You will probably read this letter and disregard most of it, because, let's be honest.....no matter what people tell us we can't really understand it until we experience it ourselves. If you take nothing else away from reading this letter please remember, you will make mistakes, but you needn't regret them. You will take on too much and burn yourself out. You will have to swallow your pride and ask for help. You will need to take antidepressants for a while. Don't waste time regretting it when you don't get things right the first time- it is all part of the process you need to go through so you can own who you will become. You will get there, and you will make some great decisions as well as some you will have to fix up later. You will have lots to be proud of. Please remember when you are feeling low that you are also doing your best. No one can expect more from you than that. Not even you.

And rest assured, that in 10 years time, even though you have made mistakes and taken a long time to learn things the hard way, I will be there looking back on you and smiling, grateful for who we have become.

from You 10 years later.

More funding cuts.... who is prepared to fight with me?

When I started blogging 6 months ago, I had no idea the direction the blog would go in. I thought I would be posting a series of honest but witty stories about living with Autism that would encourage and inspire, and maybe increase understanding of what Autism is within the wider community. I don't really know if I've achieved that at all.

What I do know is that I am now writing more and more often about funding and policy and battles for equal opportunities for my kids. The other stuff is still there, but more and more I find myself in the role of advocate and discontent.

I really was not expecting that.

It makes me think about how lucky people are who don't have to think about whether their child will be adequately supported at school. I was one of those until recently. Funding was available to support all my kids to learn well. L needed extra support and he got it. Thanks to "Every Student, Every School" that is now gone. I assumed G would get funding too, but as it turns out Government Policy changed, and now I have to fight for it.

You might think that you are one of those who doesn't have to worry. I'm sorry to say that I am going to have to challenge that assumption. Our NSW Government has announced even more cuts to Education, and it is not just kids with disabilities they are targeting now. $1.7 billion is being taken, and your children will all be affected. As I predicted here, an outcry is starting.

While I feel cranky that it took cuts that will affect the majority before people are interested in making a fuss, when my kids weren't worth fussing over, I am pleased that finally the campaign to let the government know we are not happy is building.

Please keep an eye out for the NSW Teachers Federation organised protests that are coming up, and join in your closest demonstration.

I for one will not be happy to sit back and watch, then tell my grandchildren that education used to be better, but we didn't bother to fight when they took away the funding. Are you?

Who is prepared to fight with me?

When the "what ifs" attack

I have this weird thing going on with my eye at the moment. It's like a mix of allergy and conjunctivitis symptoms. It's pretty uncomfortable, but hardly life threatening.

Yesterday I managed to have a little panic attack over it.

Yep- I was sitting in the car with Hubby driving us, and all of a sudden I was overwhelmed with the worry that I had an infection in my brain that was so bad it was starting to seep out my eye and that I would die within days and Hubby would be left alone with the kids and he wouldn't know everything he needed to know to look after them.

Now, none of my children has "severe" Autism. I don't have to worry about where they will live when I am gone, or who will look after them like some parents do. I thought that I was immune to these sort of panic attacks, to be honest. Apparently not.

For the record, I have quite a good system for keeping records of all the important things Hubby would need if he suddenly had to become the primary care giver and organiser the way I am at the moment. Aside from the fact that he pretty much knows what is going on and attends as many meetings and therapy sessions as his work schedule allows, there is also a paper record of everything. Each of the kids has a file, in the filing drawers, that contains all their relevant health information, school records and for our ASD kids information about all the therapists who know them, recent reports..... everything. Hubby knows where these are, and could easily access everything he'd need to know. The rest of my filing is in all sorts of disarray, but this section is kept in immaculate order (I call it prioritising).

So- what's the deal with this silly panic attack? I don't know! Maybe I'm not as "together" with the whole Autism thing as I like to think. Maybe it's just a normal parenting moment that everyone experiences from time to time. Maybe it's a symptom of an underlying brain infection.....

I decided to take it as a prompt to think through the things I have in place for my kids to get their needs met, and to take a moment to evaluate my record keeping. I think my records are OK, and I am very fortunate to have family and friends that I know would be here for my Hubby and kids in less than a heartbeat if the need should arise. There is even a plan for if something happened to Hubby and I together.

So I don't need to worry. And I won't. Because indulging in the endless cycle of "what ifs" is a time waster, an emotion waster, and an energy waster. And if  really get started, I'll never stop ( I have a great imagination)! There are so many things to worry about, if you set your mind to it, and that is not what life should be about!

Life should be about enjoying the little things, making time for laughs and contentment, celebrating what is good.

Focusing on the attacks of the "what ifs" robs us of that, no matter who we are and what our challenges are.

What are you going to do when the "what ifs" attack next?

The more weird the merrier- follow up on the Weird Movement

A while back I posted The Weirder The Better, in response to a movement I'd seen online encouraging people to be open about their differences as a way to help others realise they are not alone in feeling different and that it is OK. It's been exciting to see how far that movement has gone.

Q&A 5: The hardest and the best?

The awareness raising questions for this post are:
"As a parent of a child with ASD what is the hardest thing about ASD for you?" and
"As a parent of a child with ASD what is the best thing about ASD for you?"

Q&A 4: What is your greatest need?

For April Autism Awareness/Acceptance Month, I am endeavouring to answer some questions to help those who do not have much experience with Autism understand more what it is and how it affects lives. To do this I've enlisted the help of some friends through my Facebook page and a couple of support groups I am part of.  Today, I am bringing some answers from parents of Autistic kids to the question "As a parent of a child with ASD, what is the greatest need you have?"